The creepy side of social sites

Social networking sites such as Facebook, MySpace and Twitter may seem like the West - anything goes. But even with the access and the vastness of the Web, the rules once you've learned on the playground still apply.

"There was a big cultural change in how we communicate and document our social life in recent years, but we have not been taught or online digital ways," says Jo Bryant, an adviser to the UK based on the label of authority Debrett's, which added a section on social networks of their label "AZ of Modern Manners" in early 2008.

Rule No. 1? Treat others with kindness and respect, Debrett advises. For more complicated situations, here is a guide to be a good citizen and using digital technology wisely:

Rule: Do not talk shit to the public
One of the most important, experts say, there is such a thing as too much information. You have a suspicious mole? Your intestines are on a rampage after burrito? Talk to your doctor or someone with whom you have a relationship where it is acceptable. But you should think twice before putting what your status message or Twittering about it.

"When you put something that your status is like shouting across the room," says columnist Technotica Helen AS Popkin MSNBC. "So, your status is not the right place to write:" I am divorced. "

Adam Jackson, who co-wrote the book "140 characters", a style guide to Twitter, he always cautions people to avoid "tweets bathroom."

"There are things that we feel compelled to say about Twitter as if there are no consequences at all," he said. "But everything is archived."

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"There is a bit of a risk of losing control of certain personal information," says John Abell, editor of the East Coast of wired.com. ... One reason is that you often forget how things are widely disseminated. "

Although May you have only to your online friends 112 to see the status message stating that you hate your job, or that picture of you locking lips with a stranger, it can spread like a fire if you do not know not your settings. Make sure you are aware of who can see what is on your profile, especially if you are uncomfortable with the exchange of information with the world.

In addition, Popkin said, it is acceptable to remove any other comments on the pictures of your wall or if they are not appropriate.

"You can send an e-mail to your friends that you will enjoy if they keep their own observations," she says. "We must also remember that someone's mother or boss may be looking for their profile You must be respectful of your comments as well. "

Kirsten Dixson, an expert brand online, with Google you from time to time to ensure that you know that exists. "You want to make very unflattering personal information or, if on the Web, is buried at least three hours a Google search page," she says.

Rule: Smile for the camera
Remember that the holiday party where you had too much eggnog and ended with your shirt on his head? A few months later that the picture you have forgotten ends on the Web. In this situation it is probably in your best interest to UNTAG of the image.

Popkin said really embarrassing for the photos, you can and should request that the picture is taken from the Web. "Your friends can tell you about cloth, but just take it in stride and laugh at yourself," she says. "You can always blame on the hearing frightening stories on the Internet."

To avoid being caught off guard, make sure you adjust your settings so you are notified when a photo of you is marked.

Rule: bite people can be annoying
One of the golden rules Debrett's is "Do not disturb your friends constantly frenetic stung." The problem with the bag, a feature on Facebook, which is a digital version of biting someone with your finger, is that there is no collective understanding of what it means. Some are literally as a sexual initiation, while others say it is just a way of saying "hey." Depending on the nature of your relationship with the "poke" you can determine whether handheld or not - just to keep a minimum.

If you are on the wrong side of an aggressive poker, Popkin suggests ignoring the pocket, but leaving in place - the author sting will be unable to continue to target you.

Rule: Break like a big kid
Break is difficult to do - crying, anger, excuses - so why not avoid guilt by sending a text message or MySpace? Breaking up digital is becoming more common and more acceptable, "says Julie Albright, a sociologist at the University of Southern California who studies the relationships and technology.

"It is not too long on" Sex and the City "when Carrie said:" I dumped with a Post-it notes, "says Albright." Now, "I l ' dumped to a post on Facebook. "

If the relationship is temporary - and both parties understand that occasionally - it may be an option. But if two of you discussed wedding songs and chosen baby names, you have to dump the old: face to face.

Rule: Do not be spooky
Social networking offers unprecedented access to events in people's lives. This can make it easy to stalk your ex. Once upon a time you had your gift to black cap, cut the headlights and try to roll past unnoticed at his house, a preview of his new life without you. Now, with just the click of a mouse, you can see who is flirting with him, what the parties he attended, and obtain an eyeful of the new woman on his arm.

Do not do it for you, advises Albright. Not only are you goosebumps (even if he does not know this), but going much more difficult to obtain during the relationship.

"It's much easier to become obsessed with someone and want to follow developments in them," she says. "It is better in May to block or your ex unfriend so you do not have to face temptation."

It is also acceptable to block or unfriend exes if you do not want to see what's on your page.

Rule: If you do not want to play, that's OK
You have crossed the country out of this girl who tormented you in high school, and now she is trying to your friend. Do not worry, "said Popkin, ignore the request.

"You do not have a friend to people, just like in the real world," she says. "The best thing to do is ignore them, block them and forget."

This may be easier said than done, especially if the application that you are ignorant from a co-worker or boss with whom you interact on a daily basis.

"I have a friend on Facebook from San Francisco who has faced this problem a couple of embarrassing times," said Abell. "She had to tell a co-worker" I do not Facebook friends with people whom I work. "

The easiest way is to tell the unwanted friend politely that you try to keep your small network, or you want to keep family and friends.

"If your boss requires that you always accept a request for friendship, then it is a moron and you should probably look for another job," says Popkin.